Update - NaNoWriMo Day 11 - 20K

 Oh I am happy. Hitting the 20K mark was AMAZING!! I was worried as I started the week ahead then wrote NOTHING on Tuesday. Wednesday I felt behind, and then I reminded myself that I am mostly teaching myself to write daily. To show up to do something I enjoy daily. The novel idea has fallen by the wayside. I feel a lot of feelings about that. I think what I am writing is going to amount to something though and my other win this week was locating an essay I wrote in group during 2020 and then the journal was stolen out of my car. I was more devastated about the journal being gone than anything else that was taken (well that and my friend's birthday stuff was also awful). I had a vague memory of typing it up as I sometimes do, and after much searching decided that it was gone forever. Then, earlier this week I thought to check my email to see if maybe I had emailed it to someone and I had. I was so excited about finding it, it set of a series of words about that essay and subsequent ideas for more on the topic of ANGER. 

Which leads me to the sad issue - our cat Puck. He is exceedingly unhappy about apartment life. While he can be cute and cuddly, he is also one to bite down hard in frustration. Once a happy indoor/outdoor cat with plenty of distractions for his aggression - most of his aggressions are taken out on me. I can tell he is unhappy. He is very food motivated, sure he is starving at all times. He takes human presence as the indicator of food or treats. Needless to say it has been an adjustment for all of us in this tiny 800 sq foot space. He is not adjusting well. I am not adjusting well, feeling anxious a lot as I go around the apartment trying to do things and also trying to keep him at bay. He doesn't know how to play. He is disinterested in play. Food is the only motivator. Things are getting dire. He clamped down on my bad wrist and I could not get him off, even with squirting him in the face. His eyes usually green were black with a rage and frustration I had not witnessed in him before. He is bonded with my husband and doesn't really bother with him much. But me, he will take down as a gazelle if he could. I cage him occasionally so I can get things done but find that cruel. I would be okay if he would leave me alone, but he thinks I should feed him. Sigh! I have never had a cat this difficult before. He is part wild/feral and really wants to be outside. 

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